


Kissing

by ResearchBlackwingsAndDenial



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Destiel - Freeform, Destiel Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-27
Updated: 2015-09-27
Packaged: 2018-04-23 17:15:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4885093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ResearchBlackwingsAndDenial/pseuds/ResearchBlackwingsAndDenial
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean had never even thought about kissing the angel, ever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kissing

**Author's Note:**

> insp.: No light, No light by Florence + The Machine
> 
> You are the hole in my head  
> You are the space in my bed  
> You are the silence in between  
> What I thought and what I said 
> 
> You are the night time fear  
> You are the morning when it’s clear  
> When it’s over you’re the start  
> You’re my head, you’re my heart
> 
> …And I’d do anything to make you stay

Dean had never even thought about kissing the angel,  _ever._  Sure his mind would wander… There were times the hunter stared a little too long at the way Castiel moved during a fight: so precise and skilled, so  _strong_  and just so… he would shake his head at this point and focus in slashing something nearby. 

Sometimes he would surprise himself trying to guess if the angel would pop in again after a conversation that was apparently over, and sometimes he guessed right.  

Sometimes Dean would think a bit too much about what Cas was doing when he couldn’t see him, if he was in danger.  

Sometimes he would ruffle the angel’s hair as an overdue joke over how shabby he always looked and his hand would tingle strangely for a while… but not unpleasantly.  

Other times he would pay attention to Cas’ hands, to the tilt of his head, to the way his jaw set and his brow furrowed, all in an attempt to read as much as he could of what the angel wasn’t saying. And Dean would be rendered speechless by how much the angel knew that he didn’t, by how much Cas could tell him if he’d only ask. He would catch himself thinking about what the angel did for him, how he gave _everything_ , such an amazing creature, he had so much power, so much good in him and he gave it  _all,_ for Dean.  

But he had never thought of kissing him, his mind was completely shut to the possibility, the thought didn’t even crossed his mind. He never went there, not even when he’d had so many chances to, what with all the staring contests between the two. And it was precisely this that had turned things upside down.

He had been  _sure_  the conversation was over, Castiel never said goodbye, he just disappeared. And the hunter was used to this already, the angel would just leave when he had nothing else to say because he had better things to do than to talk about the weather with the useless ass he pulled out of Hell. So he had taken a step forward, sure that Cas would be gone in a millisecond and he would be able to walk a straight line to the fridge.  

Instead, the angel had stayed in place and Dean had just closed the small distance between them and now they were  _inches_  from each other.  

No monster or human had ever been able to punch the air out of Dean Winchester like _this_  did right now. He froze. The only thing he could move were his eyes, currently assessing what was in front of him: soft raven hair, chiseled features, pink chapped lips, and they seemed so  _soft and…_ Dean looked up not to dwell on those lips, but then he was met by blue eyes.  

 _“Damn it,_ Cas _”_ the hunter let out breathlessly, barely registering that he’d said the words aloud. 

He’d always tried not to look at Cas’ eyes too carefully, always searching every corner of the angel’s face during their conversations. His eyes were mesmerizing from afar, Dean was almost scared of what they would look like up close, what they could reveal… but  _now,_ now he had nowhere to go, they were too close for him to ignore those eyes. So he looked.

And those eyes, you could see galaxies in there. 

_Infinite._

You could see the history of all the worlds. 

_Endless._

And the history of one being, you could see millennia of memories, of experience. 

_Limitless._

And yet, you could see never-ending curiosity and determination. 

 _Boundless._

There was so much to be seen in those sky-blue eyes, it was almost too much for the hunter. But he couldn’t bring himself to look away, and what he saw… 

He saw knowledge, Castiel knew everything Dean had ever done, good or bad. He knew about every person he had ever saved; but he also knew about every mistake he had ever made, and as ashamed as the hunter was, this wasn’t what hurt him the most. It was the understanding, the acceptance, the  _adoration._ Cas would do anything for him, after all the times Dean had let him down; he would rise and fall, he would live and die  _for him_. After all he’d said, Cas would keep on listening; after all he’d done, Cas would keep on helping him; after all the times he’d turned his back on him, Cas would  _always_ be by his side. 

And  _that_ was too much. 

Dean didn’t deserve this, he deserved  _misery_ , he deserved  _pain_ , he deserved  _his perdition_ ; and he could handle it, he had to, he would man up and suck it up  _every damn time._ But what was he supposed to do with _forgiveness_ , and  _unconditional_? It was just too much, he couldn’t bear it.  

The hunter shut his eyes and inhaled as if his lungs were on fire. He felt as if a dam was about to break inside him. His lips were dry and he could feel something burning behind his eyelids.  

 _What is this?_   

He couldn’t breathe properly. Then he felt Cas’ hand over his shoulder. 

“Dean.” Castiel’s voice came out broken, rough but small. 

The hunter swallowed hard and opened his eyes, he looked right at Cas and frowned and shook his head in defeat. The angel’s hand slid around Dean’s shoulder to squeeze lightly where his handprint had been, and the smallest of smiles tugged gently on Cas’ lips, reassuring Dean; saying that whatever he was going through, it would all work out in the end.  

And it was as if all those times the hunter had managed not to think about kissing were catching up with him all at once and now he was purposefully staring at Cas’ lips. And  

 _where the hell is this even coming from?_   

Dean was having a minor freak-out but then… maybe there were more important things right this second. Like that perfect shade between red and pink, or the texture of those lips and how pleasant it would be to bite down on them softly, or the way they were parting slightly, momentarily letting out Cas’ tongue to run over them. And now all Dean could care about was how he wanted so desperately to place his lips on Cas’.  

And so he did.  

For once in his life, Dean Winchester single-mindedly went after what he wanted. And he’d be damned if it wasn’t the best idea he’d ever had.   

Their first kiss was awkward, shy, Dean was scared he had misread Cas completely, and he placed his lips on the angel’s softly and as if he was scared he would break something… or that something would break  _him._

And yeah he was scared to death, he’d never thought about Cas like this and now his mind was working double time letting him know just  _how much_  he wanted this right now, just how much he had  _needed this_ all along. And not just this, he found he wanted to hold Cas close and feel his warmth and smell his scent all around him and just…  _taste_ him.  

And okay that sounded extra creepy but  _Jesus_ , their lips were fitting together as if they were specifically made to do this and Cas’ lips tasted like honey and quite frankly he never wanted to let go and  

 _holy hell what’s going on?!_

Dean broke their kiss too fast because just the mere realization of what he felt was making him go weak in the knees.It all lasted about 5 seconds before the hunter pulled back and scanned the angel’s reaction. 

Castiel looked  _relieved._

Dean had expected to see angry, confused, disgusted, scared, shocked…  _maybe_  joy or happiness but that had been wishful thinking, he had expected  _anything_  but relieved.  

The angel was breathing evenly, his eyes closed, looking as if the weight of the world had just been lifted from him. His lips were slightly parted and  _Christ,_ Dean could barely hold himself back. But he made an unearthly effort in favor of sating his curiosity and controlling his damn fear. 

“Cas?” blue irises were slowly unveiled and regarded him as if he was the single most amazing thing in the universe.  

And Dean concluded the angel was just bad for his lungs, no air seemed to be getting in or out properly while being this close to him.  

“Yes, Dean?” his voice was like an anchor, Dean could already feel his doubts retreating, his fear disappearing.  

Of course he had felt like this all along, this was _Cas._ How could he _not_ feel this way about Cas? Cas was his best friend, Cas made him laugh and taught him what he needed to know. Cas was Dean’s break from all of the shit he carried around and he was his salvation,  _literally._ Outside his family, Cas was who Dean most worried about, who Dean most wanted to be with, who Dean trusted the most and who Dean helped the most. He would do  _everything_ for Cas, and he wanted everything with Cas, because Cas was everything _to him._

“I- uh, hmm” he cleared his throat and tried again. “It’s, um- Is it ok if I kiss you?” 

 _Idiot._ He just wanted to know if Cas was ok with everything that was implied here, if he wanted things to change like Dean did. 

Castiel tilted his head and knitted his eyebrows. “I thought you just did?” his eyes widened slightly and he looked around the room as if he was afraid he’d just imagined the whole thing. Dean huffed out a little laugh. 

“ ’Course, I just meant… if I could … do it again?… I guess?” 

Dean just wanted to hit his head against the wall. Where was the smooth bastard he used to be? His nerves were going  _nuts_.

The angel’s eyes lit up, Dean could’ve sworn he could see the entire cosmos there. 

Cas’ lips formed a shy smile and his tongue poked out again and dragged around them in anticipation. “Yes, Dean.” 

And  _now_ Dean understood the relief, because he felt it too. He leaned in and- 

“Wait, hold up.  _What?_ ” 

Castiel looked confused. “Dean?  …I only said yes.” 

“Yeah, what the hell?” 

Now the angel looked a bit afraid but he remained silent. 

“Why did you say yes?” 

And maybe the nerves were just there, floating around in the room’s air and preying on them. “I- um… Because I want you to kiss me?” Cas seemed to be on the edge of a freak-out. 

And Dean had tipped over ages ago. “ _Since when?_ ”  

 _Oh…_ Now the angel was blushing, apparently understanding the hunter’s behavior. He bowed his head and sighed deeply. 

“I don’t know Dean” his voice was almost a whisper and he was shaking his head slightly. “It seems … since I first met you?” He shrugged with one shoulder, Dean thought he look embarrassed, maybe apologetic. And then the words made sense in his brain. 

“ _What?_ ”  

The angel seemed ashamed. 

“Maybe I should just-” 

Dean got the message and his hand shot right up to grab at Cas’ arm. So that he wouldn’t go. Or if he did, so that he would drag the hunter along with him. 

“Don’t, Cas-” he was frantically shaking his head and Cas was looking at Dean’s hand in his arm. “Why didn’t you tell me?” 

“Uh…” Cas lifted his eyes and looked into Dean’s. “Dean I didn’t think you wanted that… and if you didn’t want it and I told you I did, maybe you’d stop letting me help you… and be around you.” 

Dean considered this, maybe for a moment too long. 

“Did you?” 

“Huh?” 

“Did you wanted this before today?” 

Dean frowned. “I don’t know, Cas… I mean I never really thought about it but, maybe… Well now that I think about it man… It feels as if it was the only thing I ever wanted” And  _whoa_ since when did Dean’s mouth allowed that kind of talk? He scratched the back of his neck and looked at his shoes. 

He felt strange, like that tingly feeling he got from Cas’ hair in his hand, now it was all around his body and it made him want to scrunch up his nose and curl his toes. 

Dean waited for the angel’s answer but it didn’t came. He looked up and Cas only looked back at him, that soft wonderful smile in his honey flavored lips. The hunter smiled back and leaned in because he simply could not hold himself back anymore. 

Their second kiss lasted  _a lot longer._  Dean got to know how Cas really kissed, and it was  _awesome._ He got to feel their lips moving in perfect synchrony and their tongues sliding together and it drove him  _wild_. He got to press Cas close against him until their chests touched and he felt  _safe_. He got to card his hands through Cas’ hair and feel the angel’s hands tugging at his own and then he placed him gently on his bed. He got to taste Cas’ neck and eventually every inch on the angel’s body and it was  _glorious_.  

Now he knew that Cas thighs were strong and firm, that his chest was soft but lean, that his biceps stood out, that the muscles of his back flexed deliciously, and that his hands were unstoppable when they wanted to explore Dean’s body.  

Now he knew that Cas’ mouth could  _truly_ work miracles and emit sounds that would surely be the end of Dean. Now he knew that the kisses Cas placed on his temple were how he wanted to be waken up from now on. Now he knew that Cas honest-to-God  _giggled_ in the most beautiful way when Dean kissed him behind his ear unexpectedly. Now Dean knew he didn’t want to waste any more time. 

“Cas?” 

They were curled together under the white sheets on Dean’s bed. Cas looked up from his place at Dean’s chest. 

“Yes, Dean?” he was smiling and Dean couldn’t help but to smile back. 

“Why didn’t you leave earlier? I thought you’d say everything you came to say and then you stayed there but said nothing else?” 

Cas blushed and looked down at his hand, tracing patterns on Dean’s clavicle. “I was gathering courage to ask you something, Dean.” 

Dean chuckled. “Oh yeah?” he placed a kiss on Cas’ nose and the angel scrunched it up and chuckled slightly. “What’s that?” 

Cas looked up at Dean and smiled innocently. “I wanted to know if I could stay here for the rest of the afternoon” 

Dean’s heart skipped a freaking beat.   He huffed out a nervous laugh and leaned in to kiss the angel’s mouth again. 

“I’ll kick your ass if you don’t” he said against his lips and every inch of his skin tingled when he felt Cas’ lips curl up into a smile. 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed this! :) If you did your kudos and comments are much appreciated. I have a  Tumblr blog if you wanna come say hi! ^-^


End file.
